Jai Bheem!!

Lord Buddha preached non-violence and said love thy neighbour, enemy, friend, lover and anybody and everybody that moved on this planet. He didn’t shed any illumination on what is to be done if you ever have a close encounter of the 3rd kind though. Anyways, never mind that. Then there was the great BR Ambedkar. You know him don’t you. You can’t miss his countless statues wherein he’s pointing at something that’s in a great distance. What is he pointing at I have no clue. Maybe he’s signaling crows and pigeons who invariably consider his head to be a water closet, to kindly go that-a-way. Anyways, he was another dude who was the apostle of peace and non-violence. He worked towards uplifting the downtrodden like the Dalits. In process of getting a solution for uplifting the downtrodden, he got an upliftingly sublime solution of making the Dalits embrace Buddhism. A brilliant strategy if you ask me. No Dalit means no tag of Downtrodden. You know – something on the lines of “Na Rahega Baas Na Bajegi Basuri” (Hinglish: No will there be bad smell no will there be playing instruments). So Dalits are basically an amalgamation of Lord Buddha and BR Ambedkar, both of who stood for peace. Let’s put that in mathematical terms shall we:

EQUATION: Dalit = Buddha + Ambedkar = Peace

ERGO: Dalit = Peace

Therefore whenever something happens that that seems to be against Lord Buddha or Ambedkar’s thoughts, our friendly neighbourhood Dalit follows the following equation:

Breaking of thoughts of Buddha / Ambedkar = Breaking of peace.

Which is why, whenever some statue is desecrated or any Buddhist monk is killed / insulted, our dear friends go on a rampage and end up disrupting peace and tranquility. Since they are only doing their duty and following the norms of their esteemed culture, our police dutifully do their duty by only resorting to a mild lathi-charge. The Joint commissioner of police’s brain works faster than even Chacha Choudhary’s. So he quickly takes stock of the deteriorating law and order situation and issues explicit instructions that under no circumstance should tear gas be used nor should any firing take place. After all by resorting to any such things we would be doing a gross disservice to the teachings of Lord Buddha and preachings of BR Ambedkar.

Those of us who were caught unawares and had to bear brunt of the violence or suffered losses due to breakage of shops and property please don’t stand there and complain. It serves you right to bear the loss. Aren’t you aware that in Mumbai if you are a Girl/ Non-Dalit/ Non-Shiv Sainik, you have absolutely no rights at all. You have to resort to staying at home and quavering under you quilt shaking with fear. And if you are one of those who think that Mumbai is a wonderful peace loving Cosmopolitan city which showers equal rights and blessings on everybody, then you can pat yourself on your back and congratulate yourself on being the biggest fool alive in Mumbai.



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